back to the books and paragraphs of words,
down with the free expression?
Heck, its down with the high standards.

For the first few times in my life, I feel as though art is not my calling. Yahui was talking to me about sociology and it seemed really interesting discussing these issues with her.

The thing is, I'm certain I'm not the only one interested in these issues so what makes me so sure that I can actually do them? & can I even enter NUS/NTU in the first place (at this rate I'm going)? Am I good enough at what I like?

Is there a job where I can sit there the whole day and discuss these sociology-psychology related issues with people? But then again, who on earth WOULDN'T want that? Why am I so afraid to do something just because alot of other people have passion for that particular thing?


I dont' feel like taking art all of a sudden its making me so terribly frustrated. Or is this frustration normal? Can I get over this? Can I?

It drives me mad to know that something I love so much is driving me mad. I recall being really frustrated when I couldn't reach the recording's standards while playing the piano back then. Is there something wrong with me then?

I'm sure I'll end up hating everything I love/loved just because I can't reach those standards I've set for myself. Stop it Emma STOP IT.

Talking to a few people these few days also made me realise my confidence level is STILL really, really low. It makes me not want to do anything. I feel as though everything I do would be useless for I won't produce something I like.


I'm not GREAT at something, just GOOD at many things.

The paint in front of me is drying up and I'm not picking up the brush yet. Because that half-done painting doesn't look promising.



& if songs are proven to lift my moods, here's a good one. Alternative amongst all the classical and orchstral pieces I've heard lately.

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

Cheers to great songs. Oh yes, ken gave me another great idea so I'm going to start jotting down whatever ideas I've got in my mind :]